Presentation was over. Finally. Though it was only 15 minutes, it took me hours (opss, days sorry) to prepare the slides. I’m bloody meticulous. I must make sure what I’m presenting is worth listening. I didn’t mind putting in more effort in it although I knew that it was wiser to study instead of googling for more pictures and wikipedia-ing in the witching hours. Well, personal satisfaction. I’m aware that my German pronunciation still needs a lot of improvement. Thus, more pictures will eventually divert the listeners’ attention and conceal my flaw.

The topic was “Berühmte deutsche Wissenschaftler, Erfinder und Forscher” (Famous German inventors.)

There were lists of stuffs and devices Germans invented. From toothpaste, contact lenses, bicycle, Levi’s jeans, Aspirin, comic strips, mp3 player to Bunsen burner. The list goes on and on. Endless. I’m not trying to endorse or have a campaign on how noble Germans are just because I will (keeping my fingers crossed) be going there; it simply made me realize that there is nothing Malaysians had have ever discovered. Dang. Something ‘ummmpppphhhhhh’ which can cause a bang-bang-boom-boom in the world market. Something that will proudly displayed and exhibited as “Made in Malaysia”, some new invention which can save the humankind and cause revelation to the whole world. Awesome.

*Slap my face

Can this ever happen?

Sending our 2 “astronauts” and who both respectively don’t even own a degree in aeronautical engineering is a bloody big step for mankind. Maybe they are just trying to imply what Neil Armstrong has quoted, one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind.

Or this is how far we can go.


Ah Kau : Eh, your jeans gaya siut.. Levi’s ar? Sureli veli mahal. Belapa?
Abu : Alahh… I beli Muthu’s je.
Apukuti : Muthu’s “Made in Malaysia” tau.
Ah Kau : Apa muthu muthu? I talking jeans sklang, bukan puthu mayam.

I can imagine having Jeans named after Muthusamy, it will be Muthu’s or Fatimah as Fat’s or Kok as Kok’s. Damn exclusive.



Ich ging nach Haus und schlief, als ob
Die Engle gewiegt much hatten.
Man ruth in deutschen betten so weich.
Denn das sind federbetten.

It was a bit the embarrassing that I couldn’t recite this verse without referring to the paper. Yes. I was bloody panicky. We went to the Embassy of the Republic of Germany today and our lecturer had prepared us with this poem from Heinrich Heine, apparently the German ambassador’s favorite poet. The nine of us were assigned to present. In fact, the whole class supposed to present initially, but our Herr Yves was such a BUZY man. We made a tour around the office and met our big boss. I enjoyed listening to Yahya’s speech. The way he speaks reminds of Tun Mahathir. As the matter of fact, it wasn’t an astonishment when he revealed that he has been working with all four prime ministers for the past 50 years. Simply eye-opening.

LOLA RENNT has replaced my Kino-Tag this week. It was a German film. We watched it during our lesson yesterday. First German film. Not too bad after all, we could understand. Haha. Subtitles.

Till then…

Nice Day!!

P/S : I want to go Singapore

Happy heart

Tap-tap-tap tap-tap tap tap tap-tap-tap tap-tap tap tap
Yeah, you’ve guess it correctly. It’s Happy Feet.

My friend used to question me, if I ever were to choose to be an animal, what will be my best choice? Without hesitating, I will cry ‘DOLPHIN’. After watching this show, I find that ‘PENGUIN’ is a better pick. I’m not going to tell you why, go figure out yourself.


I was in one of the black moods yesterday. Total crap. I’ve so many things to settle and run through, leaving me to suffer from some bloody anxiety and uneasiness. To make matter worst, I’ve class on Saturday, meaning one more night in hostel. Awesome. I was really in the doldrums. Knowing the fact that two major language exams and one presentation is approaching, it’s seriously bloody distressing. Mind you, I’m not complaining. Mine is nothing compared to those who are facing some oh-so-big-future-determiner-exam. I’m just angry and frustrating at myself of unable to restrain or belief in my own abilities. Bloody insecure.

Two more weeks to go before my course bring to an end. We’ll be doing a two weeks bridging course later and pooooofff it’s holiday. What can I say?


That was yesterday.

I feel like a whole new woman after Happy Feet. Watching a movie is like a medicine to heal all my whatsoever disorders or turmoil instantly. It can kill all my fatigue like a magic wand. Amazing, a simple and effective solution.

Fizzie and I really have many things in common. We share a fairly similar outlook and perspective. We can talk and gossip about everything under the sun. She’s simply outgoing and fun.

I’ve been losing my appetite recently. My tummy gets upset easily and my cravings for food sag.

I need to go back to my palace to meet my emporer and empress desperately. Bloody miss them.

Till then…

Good night!


I smell like crap now. My hair stinks. My whole body is pervaded with a reek of stale cigarettes. Yes. I’m bloody allergic to the puff. Sorry to say, I dislike smokers at all. But, of course there are exceptional. I give ONLY my family members the benefit of the doubt. Thank God, none of my friends smokes.

Dang. It was just McDonald. It was a typical rainy day where you enjoy listening to the pitter-patter of the rain and feeling the chilliness of the ‘fresh’ air instead of an air-conditioned room. Heck, it was a huge mistake. I ended up inhaling masses of noxious fumes.

And the best part, 7 out of 10 smokers were females. That was what surprised me. What’s wrong with the ladies nowadays? Attractive figure?

Most of them practically sat there gassing for hours. I was pretty sure they were not under some extreme pressure or stress as they could happily cackling and giggling away. It’s their HABIT. Bad habit. They are just addicted.

I spotted two fine and soft spoken ladies. Their itchy hands couldn’t resist, they have to do it. They grabbed and lit it. A packet of 20’s was insufficient. They craved for more. When I thought I could finally gasp in a lungful of fresh air, they returned with more. Two new PALL MALLs and the fagging marathon begun. Bloody nauseating.

Gosh. I couldn’t take it anymore. I could probably die from asthma attack as I’d started to cough and feel sick. Smoking for me is a taboo.

Call me old-fashioned or traditional. I’m NOT used to people smoking around me.

If you’re a smoker, don’t give up giving up smoking.

Counting my Blessings.

I’m contented.

My circle of friends is supportive and compassionate. Our lecturer is thoughtful and humorous. My parents needless to say love me immeasurably. My siblings; I just can’t find any excuses or reasons how I will not like them. What more could I ask for?

I’m blessed.

It was a joy working with Azizul, Ahmad and Haniff. They really made my day. Azizul never once fail to lighten my heart. His witticism and zest simply tickles you. Fizzie is the most outspoken and knowledgeable girl I’ve ever met. There’s an incredible sense of camaraderie between us. (At least, that’s how I thought). Raj is kind-hearted and carries himself well. Thank You!

I’m pleased.

Hau Wei has always been a caring and loving friend. He’s always been the one I turn to wherever insecurities and uncertainties creep. He’s the one I can count for whenever dejections or miseries occur. I thank Lord for your presence.

Relationship = Friendship = Love

How do you define Relationship, Love and Friendship?

(Let’s keep our Family aside first, I’m talking about relationships)

It’s again my random thoughts.

There’s no Love without Friendship and Relationship and at the same time there’s no Relationship without Love and Friendship.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Why is it love in the first place since you don’t even know that person?

In this case, it’s not called LOVE, its mere attraction or plain infatuation.

Heck, it’s bloody normal to have feelings for the opposite sex due to their appealing or gorgeous physical appearance. And that is plain CRUSH.

The two notions are distinct from each other.


You love your friends, don’t you? What if one day you discovered that you feel for him more than a friend?

Feelings are intangible and elusive. It’s indescribable. The perplexity of love is sometimes depressing and disheartening. Simultaneously, you’ll be on cloud nine if the person you adore, loves you back. Love makes the world go round.


And what if you had started the relationship and you found that it is better to remain as friends? Are you going to wait for the relationship to bloom or end it before it flowers? Schucks. Miracles happen in second. I would definitely give it a shot. Initially, you wouldn’t agree if you have no feelings for each other. At times, it’s bloody irrelevant no matter how sensible or logical you are. That’s Love. Bloody unfathomable.

At the same time, are you ready to be committed in a relationship? How far can you go?

Love, Friendship and Relationship needs to be appreciated and cherished. After all, what if tomorrow never comes.

To love someone is nothing, to be loved is something , to love and be loved is everything.

Till then..


Blessed Examination

SPM will be starting tomorrow..

Exactly one year had elapsed since I sat for the same examination. I can’t believe how expeditious time slip away.

I could still remember vividly the night of anxiety and nervousness before I entered the examination hall for my first Bahasa paper on the next day. I couldn’t sleep and went to my parents. Still, it was a futile attempt. The nail-biting moment when I heard the clock ticking away was aggravating. Thankfully, I got by a two hours of sleep.

Well, I made it. Here am I today. It’s unbelievable, but believe it.

To all SPM candidates especially my sister, Yin Leng and cousin Yoke King, have faith and believe in yourself. You can pull it through. I’m the best paradigm.

Good Luck and best wishes to all of you!




Dad was busy today dealing with our new house in Shah Alam. There is so much to set up before one could settle in. It’s sad to know that we are not living there. He’s let it officially. Maybe one fine day, we can move in. Hopefully. Ahh. (Slap myself..) I love my home now. Shah Alam. Piuk!!

Raj was such sweety today. He fetched me from KTM station to attend a German exhibition in college. Yeah. It was ‘so’ interesting. We managed to gather some valuable information about Germany as we kept bombarding a petite lady with loads of question.

I’ve been doubting my taste-bud recently especially when it comes to Western food. Scrumptious and appetizing food seems to taste conversely to me. It spoils my meal. Hate it. Somehow, I feel discontented and disgruntled as if the ‘ummmppphhhh’ has disappeared.

Cheng Cheng!!!

We bought mum an Ogawa Slimming Belt. They seriously know how to jack the price up to tempt you. Firstly, it’s RM 699. Later, after the promotion it’s RM 599, and then finally it’s RM 499. How deceiving right? RM 100 rebate because currently there is no stock. At the end, you will feel like it’s a whopping sin or misdemeanor if you don’t own it.

OSIM : Slimmer body, Angelic beauty

OGAWA : As Good as it Gets

OTO : Shake, shake, shake, shake off the Flab

(I don’t understand why, all the health devices’ leading brand starts with an “O”. It’s because everything that turns Ahhhhhhhhh into Oooooooooo is “O”. They could have better names such as AWAGO or TOT)

I admire and love my dad even more after today. I’ve made a promise to myself to get him whatever I can afford when I grow up, anything under the sun. Mind you and my mum as well.

He taught me the value of parents in my eyes, the responsibility of children towards their parents. Sometimes, you need not verbal assurance to grasp that. It’s a simple gesture to illustrate or interpret your intention.

Talk is cheap.

I’ve learned.


Friday has always been my favorite day. Love it.

We had our IELTS reading test today. Still have one more to go which is listening. Yeah!

We spent a blissful night together at One Utama. Like what other teenagers normally will do; movie, dinner, kill time. Awesome. I’m blessed to get to know a couple of new friends. A Bulgarian boy, Todor, his name it’s like two doors. Funny, that’s how I remember. Cool. I know two JunXiangs now but the two of them are so different in personalities and character-wise. Seriously, I have never met anyone resemblance to JunXiang, my classmate in my life. As in, he barely talks, in fact, sometimes; people don’t even notice his existence at all. He’s a bloody capable and expert in Science and Mathematics undeniably. I was amazed when he told me his favorite past time is unscrewing electronic things like air-condition, radio, television. He meant the whole component of it.

Casino Royale was first-class though Bond looked old and apparently he’s the youngest 007 agent. The action was powerpacked.

To be honest, I enjoyed our dinner more. That was time where we got to mingle and blend together. We had our dinner at ‘Just Thai’. The food was ‘Oklah’, nothing really extraordinary or special but I enjoy the setting and the ambience there. All in all, it was great.

My lovely siblings and Kohilan came to pick me up. They are bunch of TLC folks, full with tender, love and care. Simply love them.

That’s all for Friday.

Few minutes to Mum’s birthday!

Til then…

Gute Nacht!!


One word to sum it all, marvelous! Everything was an absolute breeze.

It started with Azizul’s presentation. Double thumbs up! Über-theme! He’s so creative and managed to deliver his points competently. The topic was ‘How to learn German Effectively’. It drew people’s attention because he showed pictures of ‘us’, his source of inspiration. We were really having good time laughing at our own silly appearance projected. God knows when he captured all those.

Yeah. A good kick-start.

I realized that almost four months of Intensive German and English just passed by. Time flies especially when we are occupied and engaged. In the blink of an eye, 2006 is drawing to an end. These four months thought me heaps. My maturity seems to blossom a notch above. It’s a training ground of my independence.

Living away from family (though five days a week) is not a piece of cake. Things come inconvenient. Most of the time, I’m restricted and confined in my hostel. My meals are fixed, like some factory workers. 11 a.m., bell rings, signal for lunch. 7.30 p.m., message received, “Dinner?”. Bloody tedious. I seriously have no idea why I’m so obsessed with the ‘wan tan mee’ there. Imagine having it four out of five meals. Crap.



Went to pyramid with Raj and Fizzie. Raj drove us there. He’s the hero of the day. Thank You! The main intention there was to get my mum’s birthday present. I was thinking of buying her a OSIM uZap. My spirit was high. (Ala, that green belt won’t cost that much, maximum 400 bucks lah). We walked and walked. Finally, OSIM came into sight, some big health gadgets fair was going on, OTO Health or something was there too. The struggle and battle of both companies is apparent and palpable. They spent like thousands to advertise and push their products. That’s why; I’m not sure whether I’m deceived with all the marketing delusion and deception. After all, which ladies wouldn’t fantasize an hour glass body as they publicized. Or is it plain chimera?

The promoters were attractive. Beautiful and lovely ladies in costume like sonia in the advertisement. High-heels and thick make-up. Sadly, the moment they opened thier mouth, their beauty and attractiveness petered out.


Me : Excuse me, how much is this? (I was all ready to buy)

Osim : Ahh. It’s RM 698 (Heck, it astounded me! 700 for that thing?) But miss, we’re having promotion now. It’s our 10th Anniversary. If you buy now, you can have a RM 100 rebate.

Me : Oh, totally out of my budget. I have RM 400 only. By the way, how effective is this thing? (I so regret asking this question, there go my 5 minutes)

Osim : blaaaaaaaa blaaaaaaaa blaaaa laaa laaa blaaaaaaaaa laaa blaaaaaaaaaaa………

Me : Uh huh? Really? I’ll go the other side to require about other brand first. Hopefully, I’ll be right back. Thanks Ya!


Me : Excuse me, how much is this thing?

OTO : RM 750. (Slap my face, more expensive?)

Me : Hua, Uzap costs 600 ONLY. (brainless me)

OTO : (Start comparing Uzap and his almighty-prodigious-OTO-belt)

I spent more than 7 minutes listening to him blabbing and yapping away. He could really test my patience as I wasn’t given a chance to have a word. Now, I realized how much endeavor they go through in hiring and training their promoters. We consumers are paying through the nose to cover their expense.

Lesson learnt: Shut my mouth when it deals with promoters.

Later, we had our dinner at Hartz. They relocated and renovated their shop. A good effort I must say. No comment about the food. Fizzie and Raj had a high time burping away. These two monsters were challenging the permanence of their burps after each other. Fun Fun Fun.

At the end, I came back empty-handed.

To buy or not to buy?

It’s pricey. I think it’s not worthy after all. EXERCISE is a better alternative. Sorry mum, no pressie.

Til then.. Good night!


PMS = Kai Ling.

She’s so going to fry me when she sees this. My inspiration of this post.

Her mood seems to be distressed easily. Just minutes ago, she was cranky, grumpy and grouchy and now she’s hyper and frenzied.

It’s our secret weapon to blame PMS whenever pessimism infuses into our mood. Sometimes, we can go to the extent of condemning the weather although rain is pleasant most of time (Right Kai Ling?). PMS just make no sense. Our emotions are in turmoil and chaos. It cannot be explained.


Hence, as I was exploring and investigating more about PMS, I found this:

PMS can cause “Breast Tenderness”

Bloody, the moment I read that, I was like $%#%^$.

I’m still unconvinced and displeased.

I probed further. I searched for the meaning “tender”. I wanted to know whether it means our breast will turn into some soft, flaccid, mushy, lam pek pek or lembik tek tek.

Dude, it’s important for us to ensure our bosom is at the right shape. Imagine a bosomy lady plus tender breast after PMS. Crap, it will look as if she’s lumbering with two juicy papayas.

After searching for a few websites, where they keep defining tender as :


tender (SOFT)

1 (of meat or vegetables) easy to cut or chew: (Damn, our breast can’t be cut or chewed)

2 describes plants which are easily damaged by cold weather (This worst, breast is not a plant)



3 (used about a part of the body) painful when you touch it (Finally, the real tender! Ouch!!!)

Alas, the truth behind breast tenderness is unveiled. At this point, I’m still considering which case is worst, the mushy tender or painful tender? Aiks. Both occurrences are not any better.

Say NO to PMS. For the future of our ASSET.

Til then, I want to enjoy my tender meal..

More to life

Ignorant is bliss fallacious.

Yes. I confess I’m bloody oblivious of my surroundings. In fact, sometimes I pretend and choose to be unaware. Why not? The answer is simple, it makes my life easier. How brilliant things will be, if every morning I turn over to the newspaper and discover “A New Incredible Gift of Medicine has been formulated to treat AIDS and CANCER Patients. This ray of hope has brought lights into billions of AIDS and Cancer victims” instead of “Global Warming is Alarming. Mount Kilimanjaro has lost 75% of its ice cap since 1912. The ice on Africa’s tallest peak could vanish entirely within 15 years.”

I try not to comprehend what is stated in the news. What? Kilimanjaro? Some insects’ or mosquitoes’ name? (I don’t mind these two disgusting species evaporate from Earth, hate them!). The phenomenon is always contradictory.

More often than not, I’m seized with a feeling of great impotence and vulnerability. Aimless.

At the same time, it works like wonders, transforming one to another new dimension of hope and salvation. It pervades me with promises to change for a better.


I managed to have small chat with JiaLoong, my cousin earlier. I’m happy for him as he found his ‘other half’, a pretty one. The funny thing is that my aunt Jessie (JiaLoong’s mum) is always comparing her children with us. Yes, you’re right. I have nothing special besides scoring a couple of As’ in my exam. Heck, what’s there to compare? Who has the longer penis? (Mind you. I’m penisless). We are just two different people with different sense of directions and goals. Hell, we are unique. I clearly can’t have my cousin’s beautiful pair of eyes or her dancing talent.

I’ve always wanted to live a carefree life. Damn, no string attached. Awesome. But as we grow, our accountability and responsibility multiply. Holding more of these don’t outshine another.

It was a pleasant timeout with Kai Ling last Saturday. As she was telling me about this friend of hers in class, it fathomed me. There are some people’s approach in life are totally different. Our sense of conviction and mentality are diverse. There is no way one can weigh a person’s decision up according to our own personal need.

Basically, there are 3 ideas of success:

(It’s a humble outlook of a 18 year old)

#1 Having lots of money, a fulfilling career and being powerful

#2 Finding spiritual happiness and being at peace with God and with yourself

#3 Relationships – being surrounded by people who love you and care about you, spending time with family and friends

Which category are you yearning for?

At the moment, the my order of needs goes like this:


P/S : I’m a worrier. How not to be one? It constantly freaks me out. Dear God, please be with me.

Me = Dense

It feels like crap when you realize words that you have had just pronounced couldn’t be retracted or withdrew. Yes. I’m the idiot. I’m disturbed and distracted through out my lesson after a bloody remark I’d commented on my friend, Kama’s presentation. I was so guilt-ridden and culpable. Imagine saying things like “I don’t like his presentation at all as it is boring and I don’t understand what he had presented” as I was asked to give my opinion. Damn! He’d have felt so mortified and dejected.

Herr Sittner : Michelle, also was denkst du ueber sinen Vortrag?

Me : Ich denke, dass Butterfingers interessiert mich ueberhaupt nicht. Ich habe keine Lust zu hoeren.

I must be out of my mind. Where’s my sensibleness and saneness? I can visualize myself in his position being criticized. Aiks! My repentance had indeed thought me a lesson. I’ve learned to be more contemplative. No more dim statement and judgment.

I still can’t think of any interesting themes to present.

Yeah. Afham was the hero today. He drove 5 of us (Amsyar, Shafiq, Umar, Fizzie and me) all the way to Low Yat. Otherwise, we would have to undergo all the hustle and bustle taking a detestable train. Thank You! It was a sheer bliss going out with them. I’m pretty sure they were quite astonished to witness my ulu sampat side.

Schucks. Knowing that IELTS exam is this coming Wednesday awakens poignant reality. I dislike the intense feeling of it. Well, my childish notion is stimulated.

I Miss.I Love.I Miss.I Love.Family.Friends.

Till then..

Good night..


Something appealing reported in Focus (Tolong lah, keep it pure), The Star newspaper today. The subject on contamination of our national language has brought up by our Culture, Arts and Heritage Minister Datuk Seri Rais Yatim. He is despondent that we Malaysians are destroying our own Bahasa Melayu by mixing it with other languages, particularly English.

The funny thing is I couldn’t understand why it has become an issue in the first place. Language for me is just a medium where human use to communicate, converse and be in touch with one another. As long as the message, content and idea are able to convey to the listeners, the purpose of a language is served. Whether you speak ‘Bahasa Rojak’ or not, it doesn’t really matter.

I wholly and utterly see eye to eye with Lim Swee Tin. He is right to voice that as a society we mix freely among the ethnic groups and with foreigners. It is only natural that we will also mix languages when we speak. It’s a natural progression of any language in a society, especially in a multi-cultural and multi-ethnic context.

However, it is patently obvious that, we have to know when and where to use formal and not colloquial ‘Bahasa’. To my surprise, there is still one idiot who deliberate and argue that English as the medium of instruction for Science and Mathematics is a wrong move. Hello! Rouse yourself uncle! It is implemented to help your own kind. Lose Bahasa Malaysia completely? There are plenty of subjects we learn in school, not just Science and Mathematics. The mere amendment and modification is done because the verity is that we Malaysians have a minimal command of English. It is instigated because of the demand of labor and employment market. We need English to survive in this competitive environment. In fact, the more languages we know, the better we are in securing a better profession especially mastering languages that hold high economical value.

Speaking of MyKad, boulevard, precinct, Touch ‘N’ Go should be Malaynised for instance lebuh perdana instead of boulevard and Sentuh & Jalan as a substitute for Touch ‘N’ Go. This is always a predicament of Malaysian Government. Why didn’t they ruminate this before they execute the idea of using MyKad and the rest? What’s the use of debating the issue when it’s already employed and put into service? Bloody absurd.

Another nonsensical idea is that mixing language is believed to put our National Language in jeopardy. What’s the problem of using ‘Bahasa rojak’ like this, even my Bahasa teacher like to stress this:

In Class : You know, daughter I ada mata macam I

Announcement : Semua guru, sila berkumpul di meeting room pada pukul 1 tengah hari

Staff room : Cuba try biskut ini, I buat time Raya.

Me : I feel tak puas lah. Ich mochte ins Kino pergi later, mau boh?

Towards the end, realization and moderation are the article of faith during this time of modernity and globalization.

I believe one shall have the freedom of speech and have the right to mix and match however and whatever language they like.

Oh, the authenticity is, I forgot its Malaysia. It’s our cliché to make a mountain out of a molehill.

P/S : Quoted from One Tree Hill, Peyton. It has nothing to do with Identity, pardon me. I find it catchy.

Temptation can be silenced with a ray of hope.


T.G.I Friday!!!!!

I’ve swiped. I’ve mopped. The air scented with peach and apple. Peachy because “Air Wick Aroma Gel”. Seriously, the scent of white peace somehow has this soothing effect. Schucks. I’m addicted to it and it costs like RM 14. Tak budget langsung. Greenly thanks to Ajak Fabuloso Apple Scent Floor Cleaner. My little space is simply sufficient for me. Cozy and homey.

German. We discussed and compared German and Malaysian education system. One cool thing about the Germans besides their eminence of punctuality is, they are a bunch of imperturbable people. Like other European countries, their children go to kindergarten, of course it is a whole different scenario and picture here where children attend pre-school to learn Mathematics, English, Science, etc and etc. The fact is that they don’t learn in kindergarten akin to us, that’s why it’s called a play school. Most Asian countries sadly to say practice this approach to educate the children. The objective and purpose is unambiguous to prepare children before they go to primary school in order to survive and endure in the competitive environment. Their parents are basically training them to sit for the future examination. The fact that students no longer derive much benefit from school is not contradicting in this case.

“Nicht fuer die Pruefung, fuer das Leben lernen wir!”

IELTS. Our new lecturer is awesome. Bye-bye Mr. Kok! She’s the man now. I’ve been wondering for the past 20 weeks, what have I learnt from him. I have to admit that he is a very knowledgeable person.

First Day of Lesson :

Mr Kok : JPA Scholars? I’m so surprised you all are so ignorant and unaware!!

Us : (Trying to answer his question, normally general questions)

Mr Kok : NOoOOOooOOOooo (His NO is seriously damn exasperating. He has the longest NO I’ve ever heard)

His lessons were boring. He talked and we listened. He talked and talked. We nodded and nodded without listening.

Dedicate this to Raj:

One fine day, our dear Mr. Kok was giving out his handy’s number.

Mr Kok : 012345678. It’s better for you to call me after 8. I’ll be free that time.

Frau Jia Hui : So, sir I will email you the report and you will do the correction, right?

Me : Excuse me, sir. Can you please repeat?

Mr Kok : $#@! 012345678..

1 minute later.

Herr Raj : Sir, sir. Your number please?

Mr Kok : @#$~!#@!#@!@ 012345678…

Herr Raj : Mr Kok.. C-O-C-K right?

Me : Raaaaaaj!!! It’s K-O-K la!!

Herr Raj : OHHHHH!! Sorry sorry..

Mr Kok : (forcefully grinning and smirking)

On the other hand, our new lecturer has this great charisma. I was impressed the way she conducts and deals with our class.

P/S : Portemonnaie actually means purse in German and French. This indicates that, this blog is my purse where I could pour my 2 cents in.



“Fuck You!:”

“You Bloody Mofo!”

“S-O-B!! (Son of Bitch)

“Dick Head!”


“Oh Bugger!!”


‘Sod it!”


“Go jack yourself!”


“Go Fuck Your Mother”


“Kaninabu Choa Cibai!”

“Tiu Lei!”

“Jao Mou Lan!”

“Lan Jiao!”

Etc and etc. I can’t think of anymore. The fact that using offensive language like this seemed to be rude in certain ways. I would definitely be chewed out and berated by my parents if at all they found out. Mind you. They do curse especially when they drive. I’ve got to admit, Malaysian drivers although I don’t drive, the edgy and nerve–racking traffic plus inconsiderate and thoughtless drivers are difficult to put up with. Hence, passengers and victims like us are so often exposed that in the end had become immune to it.


It opens my thinking cap.

How do we define what language is improper nowadays?

Does using vulgarities like this indicate our rudeness or signify our status among our peers?

Or is it just a colloquial or slang in our speech?

Similarly, we tend to use language like “jerk”, “nut”, “nutcase”, “psycho”, “screwball”, “oddball”, “jag”, “butthead”, “drip”, “smart-ass”, “goof”, “scumbag”, “snitch”, “fink”, “folks”, “mole”, “wonk”, “slob”, “freak”, “geek”, “mike”, “punk”, “screwlose”, and etc and etc.

There are some languages we can apply to both listeners, both the older and younger generations. They could accept without feeling affronted. However, it is wise and advisable to maintain two separate vocabularies and grammars, for different audiences. At the end, it depends on the other parties in a conversation. This is not to say I condone rudeness. People react and alter to their surroundings and groups. We adjust in our peers based on how well we mingle and know each other.

It does not denote that we no longer respect our friends. To be rude for me is behaving aggressively and selfishly. They act without condescending to their audiences. Giving your friend a spank on her fanny (mind you, fanny here means buttock) and calling her “SexyArse” portrays the intimacy but not rudeness.

This is a judgment call; one’s man meat is another man’s poison. What is rude to one may be natural to another. In other words, by adjusting our language, we are respecting the values and customs of others. As long as we do not cross the limit and hurt people’s feeling, it’s perfectly fine. Most importantly, we have to be well-mannered and courteous in our actions.

Till then, sod off!!!

Essence of Life

I discovered this excerpt as I was surfing some articles for my project.
Something interesting to reflect and dwell on.

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers.
So I thought I will Chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good.
I am actually busy now. I am in the midst
of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time.
Life has become hectic. It’s rush hour all
the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy.
But productivity gets you results.
Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure out.
By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz
me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time,
by giving you some clarity. In this net era,
I wanted to reach you through the Medium you
are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just lives it.
Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried
about yesterday. You are worrying because
you are analyzing. Worrying has become your
habit. That’s why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so
much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people
always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without
friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire.
Good people go through trials, but don’t
suffer. With that experience their life becomes
better, not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard
teacher. She gives the test first and the
lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests?
Why can’t we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering
Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength.
Inner strength comes from struggle and
endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems,
we don’t know where we are heading…

God: If you look outside you will not know where you
are heading. Look inside. Looking outside,
you dream. Looking inside, you awaken.
Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt
more than moving In the right direction.
What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.
Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than
knowing you rode ahead. You work with the
compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather
than how far you have to go. Always count your
blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, “why me?” When
they prosper, they never ask “Why me?”
Everyone wishes to have truth on their side,
but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here.
I can’t get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine
who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose
as to why you are here. Create it.
Life is not a process of discovery,
but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my
prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers.
At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
I am so happy to start the New Day with a
new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Don’t believe your doubts and doubt your
beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve,
not a problem to resolve. Trust me.
Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Do take a few minutes to ponder.

Good Day!


“Our dearest former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad has been admitted to Institut Jantung Negara (IJN) after a mild heart attack early Thursday morning.”

He is already 81 years old and I exceedingly hope that he will make it and stay hale and hearty. I’m pretty sure those gossipy people who are against him and his policies will smile blissfully and murmur “Finally, that old man can rest in peace.”

All I can do is to keep him in my little prayers so that he will be in the pink and shut those bloody nincompoops’ mouth up.

There are many varieties and styles of people which drive me nuts. My tolerance of annoyance has seriously increased for the past 3 months which I think taught me masses. I’ve learnt to bear circumstances and situations serenely.

Top 3 outlandish characteristics and personalities:

#1 Unpunctuality.

Situation : Everybody is waiting for one particular princess or prince. He or she will be either combing his or her damned hair or taking his or her own sweet time while the others are heated and gnashing their teeth. And what the heck, don’t they own a bloody watch or clock? It is similarly indicating that my time is more important than yours. At the end, these morons and idiots don’t even have the courteous or sagacity or common sense to apologize for their tardiness.

#2 Loud and Disrespectful.

Situation : In class. Everyone is concentrating in their lessons. They are engrossed and trying to involve what the lecturer is delivering. Abruptly, one idiot will let out a loud guffaw. Cackling and snorting as if he or she has scarcely inhaled some laughing gas. Heck, I’m not saying that we are not supposed to have fun during lessons. You have to be considerate and responsive to the environment. Imagine, the joke is lame and the hilarity is irksome and infuriating. Sometimes, we have to be more attentive and observant to our surrounding.

#3 Heavy Sarcasm and Cynicism.

Situation : Sometimes, it is not wise to shoot your mouth off when one is talking. For instance, when a lecturer is asking A to answer a question, while A is attempting to answer and deliver his idea, B will butt in all of a sudden to correct his so-called slip-up or error even the lecturer hasn’t got an opportunity to rectify his mistake. It is not wrong to be smart or swank occasionally. However, people will get annoyed or feel intimidated. Everyone stands a chance to have their say. Why not wait for your turn and respect other people’s opinion. At least let them to finish their lines.

Next, think before you verbalize your dim-witted sarcasm. It is funny at times to create a lively and bouncy atmosphere but it doesn’t work all the time. People might be offended or insulted. The notion and theory are simple, think of how you want to be treated before how you treat people. Try to place yourself in other person’s position. Give and take is a fair play. Perhaps, you will know how it feels. It’s always better to play with words which lighten and cheer up people’s life instead of endeavoring to find fault with the way they dress, talk or act. Speak for yourself!

It’s again some random thought. I enjoy writing what I feel. You might think I’m sensitive. But heck, I care for people around me. I WILL NOT take things for granted. Even it might seem insignificant to you.

Back to my monotonous life.

Yeah. The Departed was good. One of the shows that I would highly recommend my friends to watch. Well, some said the ending was stupid. It depends on your perceptive insights.

German. Had a kleine Pruefung (small test). Schucks. What I studied were not tested. Sigh. Nevermind. Let bygones be bygones. I will learn my vocabulary by heart now. I was paying too much attention on Grammar. Meine neue partner ist Rahman und Azizul. I will definately miss Raj. He’s such a good nachbar.

Tomorrow is Friday. Ich habe meine Heimat sehr vermisst. Home sweet home.

P/S : Neue Wortschatz

Ausnahme : Exception
ausuben : to practice or carry on
aushandeln : to negotiate

Till then…

God Bless and Good Night!


I had finished my speaking test for IELTS, the first candidate. I was supposed to be the last to take the test. As Mr. Kok said, I abused my clout and power as the only lady there and was granted to be the first. All thanks to the bunch of gentlemen in my class who are so generous and kind.

German. I was deeply touched when Jia Hui presenting “Meine Familie” (My Family) to the class. She is a gifted writer as she can convey and express her feelings into words. I could sense and observe the blues as she was reading her melancholy piece of writing. I’m so grateful that I could still spend quality time with my family during the weekends. It meant a lot to me. Though sometimes, I just fritter it away. It taught me to appreciate them more and not take them for granted. I’ve counted, to be exact I will have another 59 times more to spend time with them before I leave for Germany.

Life. One moment, one can feel so insignificant and petty and next, one can experience the vitality of their existance.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
La Bruyere

We had a task today in class. “Freunde”. Was bedeutet ein guter Freund fuer mich?
What is my definition of a good friend? I began to muse on some of the qualities a good friend possess. Simultaneously, I was questioning myself whether or not do I own those values which I’m looking for in a goof friend. It is bizarre feelings to reckon that we humans always want to be loved, cared and noticed. But we are somehow awkward or tongue-tied when it comes to expressing our own feelings regardless of to our family, friends or loved ones. Why is it so difficult for us to utter or articulate our feelings?

By the way, this are some of the things I will do with my best friend:

#1 We share our ups and downs
#2 We share our deepest secrets
#3 We care for each other
#4 We are honest and open to each other
#5 We console and cheer up one another
#6 We enjoy having sleep over
#7 We encourage and comfort one another
#8 We go for movie
#9 We are not shy to verbalize “I LOVE YOU” to each other
#10 We are ecstatic when we are together

and the list goes on…..

At the end, I’ve notice. I miss Joyce. Though we are apart. She is always my “someone” who I can proudly declare and announce that – Yes! She is my best friend and she is special to me!

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

Yeah! It’s Tuesday. Friday is drawing near. Can’t wait.

I miss Joyce. I miss Kai ling. I miss Hau Wei. I miss Kohilan. I miss Jason.


Malaysian Studies.
Finally, bid farewell to all the pain and nuisance of attending this irritating subject every black monday. I’ve learnt. Definately. It just hit me on how much I’ve forgotten my History. Everything for goodness sake. Heck, what’s the bloody purpose of us learning History then? To test our memorising skill and then vomitting out every single facts in our brain. Good education and teaching. It unquestionably bestows our brain cells some work out and at the same time stimulates our reflects so that we are able to think ingeniously and innovatively.

Anyhow, welcome new monday. This ultimately imply that I will have more time for this freshly fashioned blog of mine : Schwarzpunkt. I’m keen of the name. It means black point in German. Well, don’t ask me why. It does not symbolise anything in German too. Just pure and bare black point.

German. My lesson was ok. Today’s theme is Family, Friends, and Celebrations (Famile, Freunde und Feste). Ahmad did a good job presenting our first ever German presentation. He talked about “Young Gods”. This agonized me as I have not prepared. It will be on the 29th November. There are still ample of time for me to muse and mull over.

Family. Mom’s birthday coming soon. I’m trying to save money. RM 60 a week in Damansara is not really adequate. Basically I spent like 10 bucks a day. Most of the time, less than 3 bucks for lunch and more or less 4 bucks for dinner. Not forgetting my Kino-Tag, I must utilize my college days doing what I think is best for me. Watching a movie is the best timeout for me. I could feel the instantaneous effect right after i leave the cinema. Spanking new and pristine. The feeling is great. As if a chaotic and hectic day had elapsed.The Departed. Yes, coming this Wednesday. I will not miss it by hook or crook.

I Miss my Family. Love you all.

Stars and Boulevards

People grow. 18 years of life. I’ve come this far. Have I seen enough? Well, it’s my random thought. Life is just too insignificant. We don’t live to just to exist. We live because we have dreams and goals to achieve. We live because we think we can make a difference. Call me naive and innocent. I don’t live because I have to. I live because I want to. Everything in my life now is just to monotonous. My conscience and scruples are clear.


#1 Learn, pass and excel in German
#2 Get at least 85 pointers for AUSMAT
#3 Fly to Germany
#4 Study Environmental Enginnering
#5 Travel around Europe
#6 Save money for my family to visit me
#7 Study in Western Germany
#8 Work for UNESCO
#9 Meet Nelson Mandela
#10 Win the Noble Peace Prize just like Dr Muhammad Yunus
#11 See Bush assassinated, murdered in a horrendous and appaling way
#12 Adopt a African girl and Burmese boy
#13 Work as a volunteer for the Third World Countries
#14 Work for Green Peace
#15 Mend the Ozon hole
#16 Teach Malaysian to be more courteous
#17 Be a environmental and world peace advocate
#18 Fight for poverty and hunger
#19 Fight for gender equality and racial discrimination
#20 Form Kwa Foundation like Bill Gates


#1 Favouritism
#2 Discrimination
#3 Prejudice
#4 Surplus
#5 Poverty
#6 Diseases
#7 Marginalization
#8 Corruption
#9 War
#10 Suffering

There are just too many for me to list down. But I care. At least these are the things that I concern and dwell on.