Are there any gadgets or instruments to measure our maturity?

My family and friends have been telling me that I’m childish and naïve. Yes I know. Sometimes you just want to live in denial. Who wants people keep reminding them 24/7 how immature they are?

It gets annoying as if you don’t have your brain to think like how the adults think you should think.

How can I prove them wrong?

Maybe they are just too right.

I do not have a patience of a saint.

Good night people!!


My Granny posted an interesting question this morning which left me wonder.

She asked us in the car as we passed by the road along the cemetery.

Granny : We have Malay, Chinese and Christian cemetery. Have you seen any Indian cemetery?

We : Errrrrr….. Generally Indian undergoes cremation. They normally scatter their ashes at sea. This is what they usually show on television if we’re not wrong.

This is merely our assumption. Personally I’ve never been to an Indian (Hindu) cemetery. I’ve never seen the structure of their tombstones. It’s shameful I know.

I’m not satisfied with the answer. Came back and googled it. I thought that this could be something interesting to share.

Hindus cemetery do exist.

Have a good day people.


Dear God,

I’m sinner. I’m not patient, loving and kind. I’ve said and done nasty, pesky and sassy things. As a result, I’m hurt, dejected and embarrassed. Recently, a dear friend hurt me in both word and action. Each time we met, I almost began to enjoy the leverage of being the offended one. His first overtures of restitutions were resisted because of the gravity of the judgment I had made. The most difficult thing was to surrender my indignation and work through my hurt. Deep down, I know he deserves a better treatment.

I’m suddenly seized with a feeling of great uncertainty and confusion.

I’m having “the more I secure, the more I lose” syndrome. I always and still believe that God is fair. Everything happens for a purpose, the bad and the good. When you have too much, somehow or rather you will lose it little by little. It’s like a weighing scale, the good and the bad takes its side. You can neither have the good exceeds the bad nor the vice versa. It’s both internal and external equilibrium.

Yes, I’m slowly losing it which is the last thing I want to do. But the fact that I’m not doing anything to sustain it left me in pain and ache. In fact, I’m guilty.

Finally, the Lord got me where he wanted me; He whispered to me that forgiveness means giving up my right to punish another. When we withhold forgiveness, we release peace and restoration to the forgiven and to ourselves.

More often than not, it’s easier said than done. Time and again, I’m holding back.

Yes, growing is pain.


I’m as free as a bird for now. This is awesome. Finals and camp were all over and done. What’s next?

I just came back from ‘Kursus Kenegaraan’ organized by Biro Tatanegara, JPM yesterday. It was held for 5 days 4 nights and completely drained me, both emotionally and physically. I’m rather stoned now. Besides the tight schedule and 4 to 5 hours of sleep, we had to endure a total of 8 hours mental torture every day. The fact that I’m absent from all this require some adaptation. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful that I was part of it. We had definitely gained a lot from it. As a result, I caught a chill too.

We underwent an entire of 8 hours of talk on the first day, “Tanah Air, Rakyat, Kerajaan and lastly Kedaulatan”. Looking back at my little dairy I wrote daily when I was there assured my learning development.

There were other sensitive issues raised and discussed.

Something that really caught my interest during one of the talks was this.

The speaker used this example to illustrate the social justice which Malaysian Government is practicing.

His story really made me ponder.

Say, G has two wives, M and C. M is sized XXXXXXXL whereas C is sized S. For a celebration, G requires to buy each M and C a piece of cloth in order to make into their preferred costumes. To ensure he does not show favoritism towards any one of his wives, he has to buy the same length of cloth. Hence, he bought 4 meters for both wives. As a result, the XXXXXXXL sized M only managed to get a piece of mini skirt out of it. On the other hand, the S sized C got a long dress, a blouse and also a skirt out of it.

Is it fair?

I’m not sure if it means anything to you.

In this case here, it clearly states the social distribution in Malaysia, the Malay as the majority, Chinese and Indian as the minority. The quota system here is purely justified. However, I’m not saying that the majority should abuse their special rights to marginalize the two other races. This is not right either. We are not trying to square the circle. The key recipe is give and take.

Till then..

Salam Muhibah…

My Mates

At this point now, I need to go over things which had happened for the past few months. Gosh, it’s magical to see how rapid things went by in the blink of an eye. Like some bloody wizard had accidentally cast a wrong spell on the time machine.

Alakazam… alakazam… pooooofffffff….

With heavy a heart, I’ll be officially moving out from my hostel in Centrepoint in a week time. I do cherish this place. One and half year of stay is not a long period, but here is where I harvest and reap my knowledge.

I was alone in my twin unit for almost 7 months until last month, after my semester break, I met my new Sudanian roommate with her mother, Tuta.

One of the climaxes was, merely 2 days of stay with both of them, I was staggered. I was totally taken back at their cleanliness and loudness.

Okay, let me justify.

Firstly, they welcomed my arrival by sleeping on my bed.

Secondly, they used my study table and left crumbs and dirt on it, not mentioning the leftovers and stain on my table, utterly speechless.

It’s their culture to wear shoes and slippers at home back in Sudan. It’s considered impolite if you remove your shoes particularly when one’s house is furnished with carpet and rug. Hence, they are glad when you dirty them. So, they did it here in my room (oh, I mean in our room) even though it has a tiled floor.

Oh, not forgetting they completely broke the toilet seat which was a little flimsy earlier in less than a week. I’m not sure if this is their culture as well.

I wasn’t afraid of living with a total stranger even they are from a different continent. However, their lack of hygiene consciousness was intolerable. I mean the untidiness is hard to bear, what more speaking loud Arabic.

Tuta : %$^%#&^@*^#*(@!^$#(*!)#!)@&#(*!%#!&#&!^#*&!.TAXI,@@~!~%~^&~^*~^*~&

Tuta’s Mother : &@#%!@#^*!@%#!&%#(*@!^#*(!@%##&%^#%#,TESCO*^&%&^*(&^

Me : (Oh C’mon shut &%^#%$&^*@&(* please, I’m studying)

Thank God, she has gone for good, to a single unit.

Yes. It’s the experience that counts – three roommates, Chinese, Malay and Sudanian and still counting.


Yeah. I do have an Iranian housemate as well. She’s a beauty named Parisa who’s learning English. Sometimes when I’m bored I’ll go to her for a chat. It’s quite difficult at times and we have to make use of sign language. She speaks beautiful Persian.

One fine day…

(She was pointing at the window)

Parisa : Michelle, animals come in?

(It’s three stories up, animals?)

Me : No animal. They can’t climb up. It’s high. Birds?

Parisa : Yes.

Me : No birds too. Not in my room.

(She was unconvinced)

Parisa : No small birds?

(Puzzled and thinking hard…)

Me : Mosquito????

Parisa : Yes!!!

I wonder how people can survive without English.

I’m so going to miss them.

Good night people.


I’m not sure how our brain works sometimes.

Like my granny, as she grows older, it’s inevitable that her machine starts to slow down, spare parts become disobedient and her posture and structure becomes weaker.

As her loved ones, you’ll somehow feel helpless because you can’t share her suffering and the torment that she’s going through. This sting is like a pierce on your skin. You can’t explain it.

On the other hand, both my dad and grandpa have a different way to manipulate the sign of aging. Instead of whining and grumbling about their grief and sorrow, they swallow it silently. They do not moan or linger in self pity. They see everything as part of life. I mean what’s the point of allowing your dear ones worrying about your well being when they can’t do anything about it. Of course, they might feel sorry you, but that isn’t exactly the purpose of sharing.

Why bother them with your problems when you know they can’t do anything to better it?

Why bombard them with more anxiety when you know they are unable to help?

Undeniably, family members should stand by one another through good and bad.

However, we are also responsible to ensure our family’s happiness.

Glamorous : Part Two

Are we all too blinded by all these material needs?

In this so-called globalization era, where people live-good, eat-good, look-good, where nothing is no good, where are those people who are the cream of the cream of the society who are supposed to fight for those who are underprivileged?

Obviously, they have their own business to mind.

They are busy collecting their best season of top designers’ clothes. Oh well, even Malaysia is a tropical country, they just need to collect all the spring, summer, autumn, winter collection. Nothing is too much in this world. The more the merrier!

Or some busy speeding their brand-new Bugatti Veyron at 400 km/h on the freeway or maybe sipping Lafite.

Yes, I got to agree like someone told me; people work hard to be lazy. Yes, we earn to spend. The more we earn the more we can enjoy life.

Yes, we only our lives once, we need all these luxuries to pamper ourselves. However, how many days can we spend basking in all these?

Don’t we want to spend our days doing something more constructive such as utilizing our talent for something more significant?

I mean if we are not doing anything for the society, what more can you ask from those who are less fortunate.

Doesn’t everyone deserve a fair and equal treatment regardless of how rich or poor we may seem?

We fight for what is right? Some argue things that we are fighting for are not worth the time and money. Plus, with the country’s policies and all, why blow the horn to the buffalo? Racial segregation and marginalization is a never ending mania. It drives us nuts. It’s our color and creed that makes all the difference.

However, what’s the point of having some moronic-corruptible ministers yelling about consumers’ rights or implementing waste separation and yet people are less bothered and having a ‘Tidak-apa’ attitude?

Oh well, I don’t know anymore.

Good day people!

Ps : Camp is on the 20th. Saddening news.

Glamorous : Part One

How do we define glamorous?

‘Tak Glama lah!’

‘Tak Vogue tuh!’

It’s merely on our appearance?

C’mon admit it, try entering a slightly more exclusive and posh departmental store or even restaurant shabbily. Those self-claimed-richer-and-smarter-than-you-namely-just-stand-there-with-their-mouth-wide-open staff wouldn’t even want to clap eyes on you. In fact, buried in they are so afraid that you would beg for money from them. Those scornful looks are as if you’re thief. Who cares if you want to try a size 8, nobody would have time serving a broke and deprived customer, plain waste of time. Or some Chinese may bark “You bloody Wan-Kat ah!!!” aloud. The old saying judge a book by its cover no longer applies in our society nowadays. You’ve got to dress to kill.

It’s a social status. Akin to collecting merit stars in school.

Say we are meeting a bunch of new friends, A and B are some of them.

Firstly, we stare at them from top to toe.

Girls : It comes with a huge bear hug and a sweet peck on the cheek. And here start our casual routine.

Guys : Yo macha, and so on…

Observation A

Outing 1 : Tick (one star)

Comment : CK Jeans, Gucci Handbag

Outing 2 : Tick (two star)

Comment : Armani Watch, DKNY Shades

Conclusion : Rich, Stylish, Hot, High-Maintenance, Happening

Observation B

Outing 1 : nil

Comment : Pasar malam flip flop (Cheap skate)

Outing 2 : nil

Comment : decent but old fashion

Conclusion : Poor, Boring

After all, who wants to be B?

That’s how our mind works. Priority – Appearance.

How many lists have you secretly register in your mind?

Well, allow me to be shallow.

Good Day!

PS: Finals starting tomorrow. Can’t wait for this exam fever to be over.

Good Luck and Best Wishes everyone!