This is hard. This is really hard.

i don’t know how long i could take this anymore.

This whole thing is insane, i’m going insane.


i don’t need my friends’ respect for my composure in these series of calamities.


i’m running out of words to cheer him up, to ensure him that everything is going to be fine again, miracle cure does happen to those who believe in it.


His pain is so enormous that he wants an end to it. i wept secretly and put up a cheerful tone as I heard those words. Deep inside i’m numb.

He wakes up middle of the night feeling paranoid because he feels that cancer cells are multiplying all over his body.

He twitches abnormally as he sleeps. This is a mental torture. He’s admitted to the hospital again.


i have 7 freaking papers in 2 freaking weeks for my upcoming finals, beginning on this Saturday.

i have no idea what’s in store for me.

This whole incident is beyond my grasp.

Again, having the opportunity to study here is my greatest blessing, but it hasn’t been easy.

Imagine going to lecture with zero input because your professor speaks typical Bavarian German accent, or you feel so insecure with your German that you daren’t ask any questions in the midst of discussion or confusion, or as simple as writing your exams in German or handling your daily conversion with fluent delivery of your thoughts.

i feel so handicapped.

i have no idea how everyone does it with such an ease.

It’s so challenging and in the same time i almost forget that we’re living it.
They saying “If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em” applies here.
i checked my performance record yesterday and it is definitely by God’s grace and his help that I got this far.

He was there to guide me, taught me like none of my professors could do. In fact my best score was his hard work. My admiration on his diligence gives me strength to strive for better.

Now that he is so weak and fragile shudders me.

Burka or not Burka Sarkozy?

Source BBC

The first thing that came across my mind when I browsed through the pictures was this :

“We cannot accept to have in our country women who are prisoners behind netting, cut off from all social life, deprived of identity”

“That is not the idea that the French republic has of women’s dignity”

It is French revolution or sheer hypocrisy?It is a matter of choice isn’t it?

But ladies, why burka?

Isn’t it a privilege to share the beauty of God’s creation?

I’m so excited!!

I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it
I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
And I know I know I know I know I know I want YOU!!!!!

I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
I’m about to lose control and I think I like it
I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it
And I know I know I know I know I know I’ma goin HOME!!!!!


My Daddy



My dear little baby, now that Jon is back home, you settle down back to your own routine. Focus on your studies. Take things cool and calmly. Don’t rush anything. Plan and move early. You’ve nothing to care, only yourself. Let us not worry. Watch your knee. I know, you’ve mature in this short time in Germany. Life is just unpredictable. Let it be…… as the Beatles’s goes. You take care. Love you.

PS : I LOVE YOU Daddy! I LOVE your text! It just made my day. I read it to Jonathan. You made his day too!

New Obsession

I turned twenty one 2 months ago. For many Asians’ tradition, it is THE day.

Well, it is THE time to throw the biggest birthday bash, ever, with lots of presents, friends, parties, cakes and surprises.

To the contrary, mine was nothing special. (Ok, I did pierce my nose, donated blood, receive presents, and was invited to worship-turned-up rock concert).

Again, I’m not complaining. And to my surprise, my boyfriend actually bought me present even in his current condition. Okay, it was a month late. It arrived to my place in a huge box (as huge as me, I kid you not). I was blushing when the deliverer handed it over. “This must be a mistake”, I muttered.

I knew I would fall in love the moment I unwrap it, both with him and it.

This is how I started my new hobby, playing I mean learning how to play guitar.

It’s real fun. My soft fingertips sore at the beginning, and still. I’m slowly picking up, taking baby steps.

Jonathan is very encouraging. Though he feel sorry that he couldn’t be there to teach and guide me, but his words never fail me.

But hey, at least in the future I can proudly admit that I learn how to play a guitar when I was 21.

Have a nice day people!