Maple Story

Our love across the universe is traveling through five continents (Asia, Oceania, North America, Africa and Europe) and is reunited in this glorious Christmas and are able to witness and celebrate the transition to 2013. Hallelujah to our 16-month anniversary!

Honestly, what more can we ask in our inauspicious relationship?

Admittedly, aside from all guilty carbon footprint that I left behind as a result of my extensive travels as you can see above, 2012 has been the most intensive year I’ve ever had. I’ve made some drastic decisions, committed myself in a seem-to-be impossible love, graduated as an environmental engineer without being able to tell the difference between a synchronous or asynchronous generator in wind turbine, seen one of the most beautiful desert sunset in World, tandem sky-dived from 13,000 ft, bungy-jumped for the first time, swam with dusky dolphins, inked again, picked up french lessons, sang with my loved ones, ate caterpillars, kissed a girl, made my first snowman, snowshoed, and……. I’m loved!

The fortune cookie tells that 2013 will be a year full of love and laughter!

Happy 2013!

The strength of a man

THE strength of a man isn’t seen in the width of his shoulders.

It’s seen in the width of his arms that circle you.

The strength of a man isn’t seen in the deep tone of his voice.

It’s seen in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn’t seen in how many buddies he has.

It’s seen in how good a buddy he is with his kids.

The strength of a man isn’t seen in how respected he is at work.

It’s seen in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn’t seen in how hard he hits.

It’s seen in how tenderly he touches.

The strength of a man isn’t seen in the hairs on his chest.

It’s seen n his heart … that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn’t seen by how many women he’s loved.

It’s seen in how he can be true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn’t in the weight he can lift.

It’s in the burdens he can carry.

This is an excerpt from today’s STAR newspaper.

I have seen the light, have you?

Does it mean anything to you?

Good Day people!!!

Imperfection

How often we are able to control our temper?

Is it even possible that you never raise your voice when you are in anger?

Harsh words thrown, nasty remarks made, mean statements uttered when your angry. You might even have forgotten what you have had just said.

Most of the time, when rage and fury conquer our conscience, we are blinded as our evilness reigns. Shortly, we realize what we’ve said couldn’t be retracted and the feelings of guilt take over.

It happens to everyone. Friends. Couples. Siblings. PARENTS. Bosses. Colleagues. It applies to any relationships as long as we’re in contact with people and when feelings are involved namely.

It’s hard. People can be irritated easily. We couldn’t be seeing things the way we always wanted it to be. Different people have different approaches in certain things.

Once the fire is lit, we would start to pinpoint the faults and flaws that happened back in those days, like digging those rotten and buried dung and throw it right at your face.

Later, when you find out, it’s YOU who cause it all and it’s time to patch things up, you’re tongue tied. Generally, gentlemen who have strong chauvinism would not make the first move; it is as if a whole chunk of their so called dignity is carved out once they apologized.

I’M SORRY.

I KNOW IT’S MY FAULT.

PLEASE DON’T BE MAD AT ME.

It’s so hard?

Learn our mistakes and move on.

I do

I discovered something quite interesting today, okay, I admit that I’m ignorant since I’m a Malaysian but still better late than never right?

I’m told that it is not necessary for non-Muslims to convert to Muslim if we were to marry a Muslim. How great! One of my Muslim friends’ boyfriend is actually a Chinese. How sweet right? Or shall I say how rare? People are typically biased towards mix-marriage. It has always been seen that people of your own skin color should or MUST walk down the aisle with those matching yours. It is so predictable. Oh Aunty Khor’s daughter is marrying Sei Luk Kau… Uncle Tam’s son is tying the knot with Ham Kah Ling…

Wouldn’t it be like a boom, let say Sebastian Maximus a/l Benjamin Muthusamy (the a/l thingy spoils the gempak name ler… just to indicate he’s an Indian lah) marrying Natalie Samantha Lee?

Life is more colorful with more variation and your future creation too.

However, most couples call the relationship a halt when they are unable to bear or go through with all the commotion from their family disproval and objection like those in classic Hindi and Tamil movies.

Some people are just too tired to endure with all these. Fighting in the name of LOVE!! Sounds dignified but how many people would actually work it out in reality. Forget about those in movies.

Only minority which I really admire.

Does it really matter what color that person who you’re going to pronounce ‘I do’ to be different from you?

Why parents and society like to make fuss about the religion or whatsoever customs or tradition him or her practices?

Yes, you’re going to marry to the entire family and not your husband alone.

Therefore, think carefully.

What I’m aware is that…

We should always keep our options wide in dealing with our everyday’s life, be in choosing our career, education, food, clothes, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends or even husbands and wives?

We are given choices…

Who Owns the Fish?

We were given this puzzle to do during our calculus lesson today. It is quite challenging and fun to do at the same time.

This puzzle is attributed to Albert Einstein. He claimed that 98% of the world could not work it out. Can you?

I’ll let you do the judging.

Here goes…..

There are five houses in a row and in five different colors.

In each house lives a person from a different country.

Each person drinks a certain drink, plays a certain sport, and keeps a certain pet.

No two people drinks the same drink, play the same sport, or keep the same pet.

· The Brit lives in a red house

· The Swede keeps dogs

· The Dane drinks tea

· The green house is on the left of the white house

· The green house owner drinks coffee

· The person who plays polo rears birds

· The owner of the yellow house plays hockey

· The man living in the house right in the centre drinks milk

· The Norwegian lives in the first house

· The man who plays baseball lives next to the man who keeps cat

· The man who keeps horses lives next to the one who plays hockey

· The man who play billiards drinks beer

· The German plays soccer

· The Norwegian lives next to the blue house

· The man who plays baseball has a neighbor who drinks water.

Who Owns the Fish?

How long it takes for you to solve this puzzle?

Honest yeah?

Enjoy.

P/S : Kai Ling, this is for you.

Mourning

Book-smart? Street-smart?

Yes. I’m 18 years old. A matured 18 years old? Nope. Sorry, daddy. You’re right. I’m not. My mentality doesn’t prepare me to face the real world at all. In fact, my visionary world seems to be so perfect that no one plays an evil or nasty role. Heck, I’m so childish. I’ve got so much to learn other than bloody German, Mathematics and Physics but my own kind, Malaysians. Being able or clever in scoring in exam is not intelligent or smart at all. Let me prove to you. I’m plain naïve and my thinking is simple. My world consists of ONLY good people. When bad people encroach or intrudes, I can’t fight back. In other words, I’m weak. I can’t protect myself, no, not yet. I’m not armed not shielded to fight against them still.

Again, I let my parents down. I can’t even look after of my own brother. Book-smart alone is hell not enough. I could have had anticipated the possible catastrophe, but again, the lack of common sense side of me fail to.

My spirit was high. I was eager to spend my lovely Monday with my brother and Edwin as he’s leaving for Italy the next day. Our beloved lady, Kai Ling ditched us last minute. Otherwise, it would be perfect. We finally decided to take our ever-punctual-and-efficient KTM. Filled with optimism this time, I thought things would have change for better but hell I was so wrong. It turned worst, so much worst. It took so much of effort to reach Mid-Valley, the typical if-I-don’t-push-confirm-kalah-attitude of Malaysian not and mentioning the smell (Indonesian, Bangla and Burmese as well) and the unbearable condition of the train was dreadful.

Still, I found my way to indulge myself in my novel all the way until we reached K.L Sentral. It was that moment that I realized how civilized Malaysians are. God, we have definitely reached our full civilization potential. Not only we are skillful at reading signboards (literate, don’t we?), we can even speak out loud. I’m confident that if Malaysians continue to progress in such pace, our country can for sure generate a great number of good public speakers. Why not? We are experts, talking out loud in cell phones. As if the whole world does not know what color your shit is. Good job. Malaysia Boleh!!

Enough of KTM.

Oh, I just can’t describe the beauty in Mid-Valley anymore.

Those happy moments dashed in seconds. I’m heated, angry and frustrated, who cares about the X’mas tree now. I can’t. I’m sorry Santa.

This nincompoop had to spoil it. He or she ended our blissful day with his or her bloody hand. ‘It’ picked my brother’s pocket. His 2-month birthday pressie, a phone is gone.

Maybe I was too greedy.

It seems to me that pleasant news keeps coming into view in the past few days. What’s next?

Good things are meant for short period of time. It won’t last.

I’ve learned.

A bad news just rolled up.

God bless you it!

Relationship = Friendship = Love

How do you define Relationship, Love and Friendship?

(Let’s keep our Family aside first, I’m talking about relationships)

It’s again my random thoughts.

There’s no Love without Friendship and Relationship and at the same time there’s no Relationship without Love and Friendship.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Why is it love in the first place since you don’t even know that person?

In this case, it’s not called LOVE, its mere attraction or plain infatuation.

Heck, it’s bloody normal to have feelings for the opposite sex due to their appealing or gorgeous physical appearance. And that is plain CRUSH.

The two notions are distinct from each other.

——————————————————————————–

You love your friends, don’t you? What if one day you discovered that you feel for him more than a friend?

Feelings are intangible and elusive. It’s indescribable. The perplexity of love is sometimes depressing and disheartening. Simultaneously, you’ll be on cloud nine if the person you adore, loves you back. Love makes the world go round.

——————————————————————————–

And what if you had started the relationship and you found that it is better to remain as friends? Are you going to wait for the relationship to bloom or end it before it flowers? Schucks. Miracles happen in second. I would definitely give it a shot. Initially, you wouldn’t agree if you have no feelings for each other. At times, it’s bloody irrelevant no matter how sensible or logical you are. That’s Love. Bloody unfathomable.

At the same time, are you ready to be committed in a relationship? How far can you go?

Love, Friendship and Relationship needs to be appreciated and cherished. After all, what if tomorrow never comes.

To love someone is nothing, to be loved is something , to love and be loved is everything.

Till then..

I LOVE YOU

More to life

Ignorant is bliss fallacious.

Yes. I confess I’m bloody oblivious of my surroundings. In fact, sometimes I pretend and choose to be unaware. Why not? The answer is simple, it makes my life easier. How brilliant things will be, if every morning I turn over to the newspaper and discover “A New Incredible Gift of Medicine has been formulated to treat AIDS and CANCER Patients. This ray of hope has brought lights into billions of AIDS and Cancer victims” instead of “Global Warming is Alarming. Mount Kilimanjaro has lost 75% of its ice cap since 1912. The ice on Africa’s tallest peak could vanish entirely within 15 years.”

I try not to comprehend what is stated in the news. What? Kilimanjaro? Some insects’ or mosquitoes’ name? (I don’t mind these two disgusting species evaporate from Earth, hate them!). The phenomenon is always contradictory.

More often than not, I’m seized with a feeling of great impotence and vulnerability. Aimless.

At the same time, it works like wonders, transforming one to another new dimension of hope and salvation. It pervades me with promises to change for a better.

——————————————————————————–

I managed to have small chat with JiaLoong, my cousin earlier. I’m happy for him as he found his ‘other half’, a pretty one. The funny thing is that my aunt Jessie (JiaLoong’s mum) is always comparing her children with us. Yes, you’re right. I have nothing special besides scoring a couple of As’ in my exam. Heck, what’s there to compare? Who has the longer penis? (Mind you. I’m penisless). We are just two different people with different sense of directions and goals. Hell, we are unique. I clearly can’t have my cousin’s beautiful pair of eyes or her dancing talent.

I’ve always wanted to live a carefree life. Damn, no string attached. Awesome. But as we grow, our accountability and responsibility multiply. Holding more of these don’t outshine another.

It was a pleasant timeout with Kai Ling last Saturday. As she was telling me about this friend of hers in class, it fathomed me. There are some people’s approach in life are totally different. Our sense of conviction and mentality are diverse. There is no way one can weigh a person’s decision up according to our own personal need.

Basically, there are 3 ideas of success:

(It’s a humble outlook of a 18 year old)

#1 Having lots of money, a fulfilling career and being powerful

#2 Finding spiritual happiness and being at peace with God and with yourself

#3 Relationships – being surrounded by people who love you and care about you, spending time with family and friends

Which category are you yearning for?

At the moment, the my order of needs goes like this:

3,2,1

P/S : I’m a worrier. How not to be one? It constantly freaks me out. Dear God, please be with me.

Essence of Life

I discovered this excerpt as I was surfing some articles for my project.
Something interesting to reflect and dwell on.

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No. Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers.
So I thought I will Chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good.
I am actually busy now. I am in the midst
of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time.
Life has become hectic. It’s rush hour all
the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy.
But productivity gets you results.
Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure out.
By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz
me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time,
by giving you some clarity. In this net era,
I wanted to reach you through the Medium you
are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just lives it.
Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried
about yesterday. You are worrying because
you are analyzing. Worrying has become your
habit. That’s why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so
much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is
optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to
uncertainty…

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people
always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without
friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire.
Good people go through trials, but don’t
suffer. With that experience their life becomes
better, not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard
teacher. She gives the test first and the
lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests?
Why can’t we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering
Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength.
Inner strength comes from struggle and
endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems,
we don’t know where we are heading…

God: If you look outside you will not know where you
are heading. Look inside. Looking outside,
you dream. Looking inside, you awaken.
Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt
more than moving In the right direction.
What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others.
Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you.
Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than
knowing you rode ahead. You work with the
compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather
than how far you have to go. Always count your
blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, “why me?” When
they prosper, they never ask “Why me?”
Everyone wishes to have truth on their side,
but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here.
I can’t get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine
who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose
as to why you are here. Create it.
Life is not a process of discovery,
but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret.
Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my
prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers.
At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
I am so happy to start the New Day with a
new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Don’t believe your doubts and doubt your
beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve,
not a problem to resolve. Trust me.
Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Do take a few minutes to ponder.

Good Day!

Intricacies

I had finished my speaking test for IELTS, the first candidate. I was supposed to be the last to take the test. As Mr. Kok said, I abused my clout and power as the only lady there and was granted to be the first. All thanks to the bunch of gentlemen in my class who are so generous and kind.

German. I was deeply touched when Jia Hui presenting “Meine Familie” (My Family) to the class. She is a gifted writer as she can convey and express her feelings into words. I could sense and observe the blues as she was reading her melancholy piece of writing. I’m so grateful that I could still spend quality time with my family during the weekends. It meant a lot to me. Though sometimes, I just fritter it away. It taught me to appreciate them more and not take them for granted. I’ve counted, to be exact I will have another 59 times more to spend time with them before I leave for Germany.

Life. One moment, one can feel so insignificant and petty and next, one can experience the vitality of their existance.
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
La Bruyere

We had a task today in class. “Freunde”. Was bedeutet ein guter Freund fuer mich?
What is my definition of a good friend? I began to muse on some of the qualities a good friend possess. Simultaneously, I was questioning myself whether or not do I own those values which I’m looking for in a goof friend. It is bizarre feelings to reckon that we humans always want to be loved, cared and noticed. But we are somehow awkward or tongue-tied when it comes to expressing our own feelings regardless of to our family, friends or loved ones. Why is it so difficult for us to utter or articulate our feelings?

By the way, this are some of the things I will do with my best friend:

#1 We share our ups and downs
#2 We share our deepest secrets
#3 We care for each other
#4 We are honest and open to each other
#5 We console and cheer up one another
#6 We enjoy having sleep over
#7 We encourage and comfort one another
#8 We go for movie
#9 We are not shy to verbalize “I LOVE YOU” to each other
#10 We are ecstatic when we are together

and the list goes on…..

At the end, I’ve notice. I miss Joyce. Though we are apart. She is always my “someone” who I can proudly declare and announce that – Yes! She is my best friend and she is special to me!

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

Yeah! It’s Tuesday. Friday is drawing near. Can’t wait.

I miss Joyce. I miss Kai ling. I miss Hau Wei. I miss Kohilan. I miss Jason.
I MISS HOME!